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Doing so much as vacuuming my home has me needing to sit down and recover for a while.

I visited a bunch of doctors, and most of them said, ‘There’s nothing you can do about it.’ I go out now and then, but I keep to myself. I bring a book with me to read, and aside from that, my goal is to eat/drink something really good. Honestly, I’m terrified of pushing social interaction beyond mere acquaintance. I grew up with my entire social behavior scrutinized and used against me. I’ve kissed before, and it left me on the verge of having a panic attack. “The gist of it is that I am 34, and I’ve never been on a date.I feel like I’m too mentally broken down to even consider the possibility that sex would happen to me at any point in my life.” I can’t approach the subject of love/romance/relationships at all without over-thinking everything.

I honestly believe it’s due to the fact that I’m severely physically deformed, I’m in a wheelchair, and I have burn marks over most of my body, including my face. I don’t sit around feeling sorry for myself. I don’t sit in the basement making memes lamenting how women don’t go for ‘nice guys.’ I try to live my life. The fact is, though, that constant rejection and lack of human contact can really take its toll on someone, especially when it goes on for years and years at a time. People always like to say with a wave of their hand, ‘Oh, looks don’t matter. Don’t worry – someone is out there for you!’ before they go back on with their lives and don’t ever think about it again. Ooh! Ooh! I know! You just need to have a friendship and let it blossom from there! Okay, great.

Can you point me in the direction of some people who will actually be comfortable around me and not just be polite and count the minutes until the deformed guy who’s making everyone uncomfortable with his presence leaves? All in all, I’ve probably asked about 500 girls out on a date, and I haven’t had anyone say yes yet. This is where people’s advice of ‘just get yourself out there!’ makes me want to pull my hair out.

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